There is always one...

The fox is proving to be rather bold and is now coming in every night, generally eating in harmony with the badgers and causing no bother... more than can be said for the pheasant, caught here telling a squirrel to jog on!

Chamfron Firefly - Out and About

Sammy and Rebecca have been keeping busy, firstly storming around the 35km at Seacliff, fabulous photos thanks to Kris Clay, I have wanted a "Chamfron in front of the Bass Rock" one for some time!  Then she had fun schooling round the power cross course where she was snapped by Chris Dundee

Sioux - Scottish Caledonian Show

Kayreen Jones's Exbury Ghost filly at the Scottish Caledonian Show at SNEC.  Fabulous photo from Blue Fountain Photography with thanks.

The morning after...

... the night before!  Chip had to catch up on some serious snoozing after her showing exertions! 

Chamfron Chipita - Pen y Craig Show

Chip had a successful trip out showing today, winning the foreign breeds and the sports horse class and coming second in the spotted horse class in hand.  Then winning the spotted ridden class and coming second in the riding horse and sports horse class.  Bathed, blue rinsed and chalked to within an inch of her life!

Chamfron Oro Rosa - Four year old

Rosa is looking fabulous with her Alpaca friends.

Highland Show

Sunny day up at the Royal Highland Show with Sonya, took the train from Tweedbank and then the Tram from Edinburgh which is certainly the civilised way to avoid the traffic, I had my coffee on the way out and curled up with a book on the return.  Got third again in the photography competition, disappointed this time as it wasn't as strong a class and to be honest I don't feel I beat anything, though I was lightly cheered to hear several people say they liked it while I was lurking!  I then sat and watched Jude (previously on the blog as the owner of Tiger / aka Pussy, the pony with the big personality) in the ridden Clydesdale class, only for her to win in a super strong class and get her qualification for The Horse of Year Show - your lucky mascot is available to hire for HOYS Jude!

Cherries and cubs

I liberated some out of date cherries from work and they were a great hit, the squirrel thought Christmas had come early and for the first time we got the fox coming in on this camera.  The badgers are coming out just before dusk and there are at least two cubs with them.  They looked like they had been partying hard one night!

Chamfron Colorado - SERC

Another enjoyable pleasure ride for Chamfron Colorado and Jessica today, lovely low heart rate!

Chamfron Paloma - ApHC UK Show

Fantastic photos of Paloma taken by Anita Hopcia at Equine Photo Design last weekend at the ApHC UK show.  The western classes are open to non Appaloosas and Paloma did the in hand trail, walk / jog trail and novice horse trail picking up rosettes in all her classes.  

Chamfron By Dand - Showing

Lovely photo of Chamfron By Dand winning the in hand Appaloosa class at the Grass Sickness show today, taken by Karen Paton.

And so...

Mark should of been forty today and there is nothing I can say that will make the fact that he is not here to celebrate his birthday ok.  There is a beautiful quote by Alison Nappi about grief "And herein lies the gift that cannot die. It changes the course of your life forever. If you allow yourself the chance to feel it for as long as you need to - even if it is for the rest of your life - you will be guided by it. You will become someone it would have been impossible for you to be, and in this way your loved one lives on, in you."  I am simply a very different person because Mark lived, and also because he died.

In a lot of ways blogging has been cathartic, it makes you stop and evaluate where you are, so where am I?  The first year after Mark's death I can only describe as the most incredible year of my life, I pulled off the near miracle of getting the business disbanded and the horses away to great homes in eleven months.  I rattled from one small success to another, even in the darkest moments there was something to be positive about, I found my strength both physically and mentally.  It was a year where I would form or cement friendships that I know will always be incredibly important to me and I would see the absolute best in some people.  The second year was more difficult and that was mostly due to others expectations, you've done all the "firsts" and you need to move on.  If I am honest I think many people thought there was a new man, that I would whip off the widow's weeds a year and a day on and reveal life version 2.0, I didn't.  So here I find myself in the third year without Mark and I feel I've made my peace, I will miss him until the day I die and it will never be fair but it is a life worth living, I'm happy and content (and a little bit bored, or boring, debate!)  Not a day goes by where I don't think I am incredibly lucky, I think I always have been.