Friday, 30 December 2016

Well 2016...

I can't comprehend that only one of us survived it.

I look back at my blog posts from early in the year and it niggles me that every where was grey and grotty, that the horses weren't sleeker and shinier, then I give myself a shake and realise they were fed and watered and I had a shower every day, that was good enough! 

It was another wet winter, of course it was.  There was a day in the middle of February when the rain was lashing down, the mud was running down the drive like a river and I struggled to force myself out the door.  I remember thinking I can't do this, I can't keep going, I'm tired, I'm ill and Mark is dead.  I was practically displaying stable vices.  Then you realise that your knight in shining in armour is gone, no one is coming to save you so you pick up your sword (pitchfork) and slay your own dragons (err haylage, but some times I did have to hack it into submission).

Luckily the horses just kept selling and they sold to amazing kind people.  At times I told people a horse wasn't suitable for them or that I simply wouldn't sell to them and every time a better home, the right home for that horse, turned up.  There are many positives, so many youngsters to follow in new homes, including several of riding age.  Older broodmares in homes where they will be pampered and for the first time ever Arrayan Numa foals being shown, including Karen Paton's WD Where Eagles Dare who took the Supreme at the Scottish Appaloosa show.

I don't do counselling or anti depressants, I swear too much and I'm a little bit (more) crazy.  Early on I saw a quote, the gist of it was that you can't change anything that has happened, so you have two choices, you get bitter or you get better.  I aim to be better (then I feel guilty because I should of been better anyway).

2017 will bring big changes, a house move and hopefully a new job, more tears and almost certainly more laughs as well but tonight (I'm on Ozzie time!) I don't want 2016 to end.

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