Sunday, 17 April 2016

Still Standing...

Very nearly three months, how can this be?

Eighteen horses have left, I think I will always look back and be amazed at how easy it was to sell them and how lucky I was.  The yard is quiet and the big personalities are gone but everyone is happily settled and loved in their new homes.  To the women that said to me "I hope I never am but in your shoes I'd do exactly the same" thank you.

I've hit forty and can smile that I am slimmer and fitter than I've been in twenty years, I don't look like me any more though, I wonder if you ever look in the mirror and recognise yourself again.  To Rose and Charlotte who got that "I don't want to celebrate my Birthday" meant "I'd still like cake" thank you.

I am constantly amazed by the kindness of others and so many people have been wonderful though it has to be said I also attract the most awesome bat shit crazy nutters.  To the crazies, thank you, I've never been short of a story to tell.

Marks death hit the press last week, lots of articles and a few front pages.  I skimmed them, I avoided the comments, I hope that most people know that the press doesn't care any more, that the truth is sparse and quotes are generally a work of fiction.  I struggle to see a positive in this so I'll go for a totally facetious one, it's fairly expanded my portfolio of published photos...

So, I'm still standing, undoubtedly stronger and braver than I ever thought I was but I wish I didn't have to be.


Cindy said...

Laura, you are an amazing woman. I'm happy you don't read the comments, people can sometimes be clueless as heartless to how they can affect another with their words and actions. The big 4.0, I hope you found some joy in your birthday, and maybe that was cake, a bit of ambrosia. Take care of yourself, I enjoy hearing about you and your furry babies!
Cindy Schneider

Hillcroft said...

Lots of love and gin and cake always available here xx

Habladora10 said...

Hi Laura - Just read this and glad to hear you have been making progress with finding good homes for the horses, hard as I'm sure it must be to part with well loved equine friends. May be in the market for an endurance type next spring though by the sound of things, they'll be well dispersed by then!

And you've made it through the last three months - the knowledge of this means that nothing will feel quite so bad again - at least that's what I've found from my own experience of loss. And eventually your own future will start to feel a bit clearer. Good luck with whatever you decide.

In the meantime, the door is always open for coffee, cake (or even gin!)should you be over Lockerbie way. Patricia x