Only this year did I realise I have no visual memory, that when people say they see something in their mind's eye it simply isn't a turn of phrase they actually do, amazing! I read an article written by Blake Ross about him finding out he had Aphantasia and it was like a lightbulb going off in my head, you know if I could imagine or see a lightbulb, which I can't...
I guess that is why I have always photographed, why I blog, it is my diary and my visual memories and yet this year I've barely picked up the good camera. I was confused when I checked it to go to Anglesey and found the batteries were as flat as a pancake. I'm an over thinker (there may be no visual images in my mind but there is a constant narration, I'm guessing that isn't the norm either then?) and I know why, I can remember turning on the TV for the first time in months after Mark died and watching a nice safe program "Lady Lairds" all wholesome and scenic. A Lady, widowed, was taking photos down the most glorious Scottish glen and then she turned and said to the camera, I have no one to show them to now and thats it isn't it but I need to get back into the habit of taking them for me.
I went to Lauren's wedding last month, there was a wonderful elegant woman at our table, she had her camera with her and it was only after that I found out she was recently widowed, is her camera her crutch (I was going to go for a dachshund puppy) or will she keep her passion I wonder.
Last weekend Rose and I would refer back to her diaries from 2015 /2016 and it was reassuring to know that my timeline was right, that as yet I haven't changed history. A much earlier entry about Mark and I being at the native pony sale and us doing a ramp to ramp transfer of the unhandled just weaned Molly didn't jog any memories for either of us though.
Maybe there has been nothing to blog? I think to an extent that is true (quite frankly I bore myself at the moment) but I have been to a wedding and to Blair with Sonya and Jude and neither of those made it on. If I'm looking at this in future years - Blair was wet, we bought new coats and the bride was utterly radiant.
Maybe I should just get that damn dachshund puppy after all...
4 comments:
Get the puppy and take lots of pics of it growing up! Its a twofer. Lol
Get the puppy and enjoy the antics it will give you. I got a mini doxxie Pekingese cross dog and he brings joy to our life every day we need it.
My camera is my excuse to get out and do something besides Caregiving for hubby. :)
You two are bad influences!!! ;-)
I had nothing to blog about for the whole time I blogged! But am so frustrated with myself for not keeping it up or continuing to follow my favourite blogs. I know it's the prehistoric phone line here that has put me off, I just get irate waiting for stuff to load etc and I can't use my photoshop here so my photography has really suffered and consequently my diary (otherwise known as my memory!) is non existent.
Your horse looks great! I must pop in more.
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